i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We need a shit load of segways right now
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
