week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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