I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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