I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
