Just fell off a train. Bad.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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