Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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