I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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