i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
