So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
