I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
