where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
