i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
