I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
