I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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