Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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