Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Are my feet made of real feet?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
