Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
