This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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