his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
