I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
