flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
