WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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