If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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