Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
