I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
