Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
