is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
