Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
