hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
