just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
