I think I died a long time ago.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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