I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
