I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
