5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
