you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
