I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
