Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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