i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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