Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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