I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
