i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
