What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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