Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We need to get me chipped asap
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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