I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
