but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
