my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
