It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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