oh god the rape fog is back!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm having to shit out rocks
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
