God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
