He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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