I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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